When I first got started in business, I had a big case of perfection paralysis.
I would work myself into a frenzy before I taught a class. Writing hand out after hand out, trying to make sure that I didn’t miss one thing (partly because I wanted to make sure that my students and clients had ‘everything’ they needed to implement and move forward – and partly because I was trying to make sure that I ‘knew everything’ so that I wouldn’t make a fool of myself (and goddess forbid, not know the answer to something).
This probably all started for me with a mantra that my father used to say….
“If you are not going to do it ‘right’, then don’t do it at all.”
Ouch….that is a recipe for not doing it at all, isn’t it?
Hearing words like that growing up implies that your parents likely often used shame and humiliation to get you to do what they thought was best for you.
Shame (of all feelings) is the lowest vibration and if you are operating from that place of unconsciousness, then life will continue to be a struggle for as you orient your life to avoid disapproval (or to gain approval).
If you’ve been ‘programmed’ from childhood with ‘perfection paralysis’, it will keep you stopped and stuck, not only in your business, but in all aspects of your life.
This is what it often looks like in your business…..
It often looks like feeling really excited about something you desire to offer (in the beginning) and then when it comes close to delivery time….you start to feel fear and dread (even though you once felt lit up with joy about it).
Here’s what you are telling yourself if you are stuck in the fear and shame cycle of perfection paralysis….
1) I don’t know enough yet (I need to study more)
2) I am not good enough (I don’t have inherent value)
3) I’m not ready yet (I don’t have enough time to get it perfect)
4) When it’s ’perfect’ , then I will put it out there (I don’t trust myself)
Notice anything out of alignment here with wanting to be in service and make a difference in the world?
Those thoughts are all “me, me, me” centred!
You can be sure that when you are feeling insecure about what you offer, that your focus has shifted from the desire to serve- to wanting to gain approval or wanting to avoid disapproval.
Let’s turn that around….
Now focus back on your client and on how what you offer is going to make a difference for them. That’s when you’ll start to shift back into feeling excited to do that thing that you came here to do.
Stay tuned for next week’s part 2, where I will share with you how to move past your perfection paralysis (you can sign up for my newsletter in the opt in box at the top right hand side of the page if you want to automatically receive it by e-mail).