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    Perfection Paralysis (Part 2)

    In part 1 we looked at the voices of perfection and what we are really telling ourselves when we stop moving forward on our original inspiration because of ‘perfection paralysis’.

    Here is a little re cap of Part 1….


    If you read part 1 of my prescription for getting out of perfection paralysis, you will recall that I suggested to simply re orient our focus…away from our insecurities and back onto how what we offer is going to make a difference for those we serve.

    When we focus on how what we are ‘crafting’ is going to help people, we feel excited to deliver that future program, service or product…but when stricken by ‘perfection paralysis’, we become sidetracked by our emotional baggage (fear, self doubt, lack of confidence and the voices of perfection that keep us worried).

    Those voices say….

    1) I don’t know enough yet (I need to study more)
    2) I am not good enough (I don’t have inherent value)
    3) I’m not ready yet (I don’t have enough time to get it perfect)
    4) When it’s  ’perfect’ , then I will put it out there (I don’t trust myself)

    When we don’t know our intrinsic value, we don’t trust ourselves to deliver ……

    The truth is though, that you could simply show up and provide value just by being you! Every thing else is simply value added.

    But even if you ‘get’ that intellectually, you might be wondering.. how can we really embody that feeling so that it drives us to act in a way that actually serves us- instead of being consumed with perfection paralysis?

    We have to drop the emotional baggage that snuffs out the flame of our courage and confidence.

    If you suffer from perfection paralysis, you may have noticed that  it can’t be really be effectively ‘coached’ out of you…that is because the root cause of the issue is emotional.

    We can to some degree push ourselves to overcome letting fear and doubt stop us (and yes, that is certainly a step in the right direction while creating more courage to build on our successes)…but at the end of the day….as the elation of triumph dies down and life moves on…we are still left the ‘old stuff’ waiting for the next opportunity to come up and finally be healed (released).

    But what if we could actually feel and release it from our emotional body-without years of therapy?

    What if we could get off the the exhausting cycle of …breakdown & breakthrough…into one of bring up & breathe through?

    Letting the baggage go and releasing the need for safety, control and approval makes for a quiet mind and allows us to access all the energy that was  once tied up in these emotions.

    Emotional releasing in a nutshell….

    When you feel a negative emotion you can release it by noticing the sensation in your energy system (emotional body), staying with the sensation, intending to release it now and with your awareness, simply allow it to release  by bringing your breath to the sensation (just the same way that you would in a yoga asana to release physical pain and tension)- I liken it to emotional yoga.

    It is a natural process that you used to know how to do, when you were a child. All negative emotions want to be released- all we have to do is say ‘yes’ to them instead of suppressing and avoiding.

    It is a lot easier to do it with you than to explain it because it is experiential…..you only get the results if you actually do it (and keep doing it).

    Want some more guidance to get started with the ‘ins and outs’ of emotional releasing?

    If what I’ve shared in this article resonates, you are welcome to join my free intro video e-course…once you are inside the program, you will not only learn how to emotionally release, but also how to access your intrinsic value so that you can let go of trying to prove yourself with perfection.

    Approval is an inside job- but you knew that.

    Somehow along the way we lose touch with how to access the part of ourselves that knows our worth, feels good enough ‘as is’ and has nothing to prove. When we uncover our true self, we don’t need things to be perfect….. and of course that is when it all starts to feel perfect!

    In part 3 I am going to share with you why it is essential to just keep moving forward imperfections and all, plus why it hurts your business and doesn’t really serve your clients to try to figure out how to make your product or service perfect -before putting it out there.

    But you’ll need to do the emotional releasing work in order to fully allow your self to transform your perfection paralysis (at least without pushing yourself and draining your energy) in part 3 of my perfection paralysis prescription- to come. 

    Perfection Paralysis (Part 1)

    When I first got started in business, I had a big case of perfection paralysis.

    http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-photos-woman-upset-stressed-image6690153I would work myself into a frenzy before I taught a class. Writing hand out after hand out, trying to make sure that I didn’t miss one thing (partly because I wanted to make sure that my students and clients had ‘everything’ they needed to implement and move forward – and partly because I was trying to make sure that I ‘knew everything’ so that I wouldn’t make a fool of myself (and goddess forbid, not know the answer to something).

    This probably all started for me with a mantra that my father used to say….

    “If you are not going to do it ‘right’, then don’t do it at all.”

    Ouch….that is a recipe for not doing it at all, isn’t it?

    Hearing words like that growing up implies that your parents likely often used shame and humiliation to get you to do what they thought was best for you.

    Shame (of all feelings) is the lowest vibration and if you are operating from that place of unconsciousness, then life will continue to be a struggle for as you orient your life to avoid disapproval (or to gain approval).

    If you’ve been ‘programmed’ from childhood with ‘perfection paralysis’, it will keep you stopped and stuck, not only in your business, but in all aspects of your life.

    This is what it often looks like in your business…..

    It often looks like feeling really excited about something you desire to offer (in the beginning) and then when it comes close to delivery time….you start to feel fear and dread (even though you once felt lit up with joy about it).

    Here’s what you are telling yourself if you are stuck in the fear and shame cycle of perfection paralysis….

    1) I don’t know enough yet (I need to study more)
    2) I am not good enough (I don’t have inherent value)
    3) I’m not ready yet (I don’t have enough time to get it perfect)
    4) When it’s  ’perfect’ , then I will put it out there (I don’t trust myself)

    Notice anything out of alignment here with wanting to be in service and make a difference in the world?

    Those thoughts are all “me, me, me” centred!

    You can be sure that when you are feeling insecure about what you offer, that your focus has shifted from the desire to serve- to wanting to gain approval or wanting to avoid disapproval.

    Let’s turn that around….

    Now focus back on your client and on how what you offer is going to make a difference for them. That’s when you’ll start to shift back into feeling excited to do that thing that you came here to do.

    Stay tuned for next week’s part 2, where I will share with you how to move past your perfection paralysis (you can sign up for my newsletter in the opt in box at the top right hand side of the page if you want to automatically receive it by e-mail).